Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Lesser : Thank you for stoping by my page. While you here, go ahead and press that like button, you know you want to see it say Meow in French! I managed to get the 68 badge thanks to my new friend Steve! But it's nice to know when someone has taken the time to look at my profile.
I adore my nieces and nephews. They have just worked out how to make a Facetime call. My 6 year old nephew likes to call me at 5:30AM to see if I had any interesting dreams the night before.
Feel free to message me if you like, I would love to hear from you. Preferably after 5:30AM.
For your viewing pleasure, I have added my favourite picture of my sisters cat. She (my sister, not the cat, he is a boy anyway) is a professional family photographer. This sweet cat was found wandering around a neighbourhood and was on kitty death row before my sister took him in. The mouse is my nephews birthday present. Something extra special about the cat! He only has 3 legs!
Have a wonderful day.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
Friday 30 January 2015