About Lesser : I love the FML website and have been a regular visitor since 2010. I enjoy reading the profile pages and one of the things I would like to know is what the FML's they submitted and were not accepted were. So for your reading pleasure, this is my FML that I submitted and was denied.
Today, I was listening to some music with my husband. I asked him if he knew what 'a cappella' meant. He thought for a moment and said "Singing with horses?" FML
So there you go. I didn't really expect it to go through, but I thought I would give it a try. And then maybe some people think 'a cappella' means singing with horses as well :)
Feel free to message me if you like, I would love to hear from you. As you can see, I also love playing Draw Something. If you would like to play with me, message me.
Have a wonderful day.
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Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13261) - you deserved it (2853)
On 11/21/2009 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by sleepwalker - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6940) - you deserved it (39630)
On 11/01/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9317) - you deserved it (59723)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27257) - you deserved it (1919)
On 09/09/2009 at 7:30pm - work - by slashteddy (woman) - United States
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9623) - you deserved it (48890)
On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50740) - you deserved it (1023)
On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32083) - you deserved it (2868)
On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24392) - you deserved it (78042)
On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (17924)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39410) - you deserved it (23772)
On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65917) - you deserved it (163245)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82833) - you deserved it (3656)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64633) - you deserved it (3419)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31486) - you deserved it (71980)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276892) - you deserved it (23328)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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