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About Lesser : Thank you for stoping by. Did you spot the mouse in the first picture?
I love meeting new people, so please message me if you like. I am happy to advise people on badges, but please at least say 'Hello' in some way first rather than just saying "How do I get the 42 badge". And a 'thank you' after is always nice. Manners people.
While you here, go ahead and press that button. It's nice to know when someone has taken the time to look at my profile, and I have most likely already stalked yours. It's your fault for having a smudge which might be an interesting picture.
Here is my favourite picture of my sisters three legged cat. He was on kitty death row before my sister took him in. Just after his leg was amputated, he liked to rest his bare hairless stump against you, it was a very strange feeling. I highly recommend adopting a three legged animal. they need love just like every other creature.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML
Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML
Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML
Friday 5 February 2016