About Lesser : I love the FML website and have been a regular visitor since 2010. I enjoy reading the profile pages and one of the things I would like to know is what the FML's they submitted and were not accepted were. So for your reading pleasure, this is my FML that I submitted and was denied.
Today, I was listening to some music with my husband. I asked him if he knew what 'a cappella' meant. He thought for a moment and said "Singing with horses?" FML
So there you go. I didn't really expect it to go through, but I thought I would give it a try. And then maybe some people think 'a cappella' means singing with horses as well :)
Feel free to message me if you like, I would love to hear from you. As you can see, I also love playing Draw Something. If you would like to play with me, message me.
Have a wonderful day.
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Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25601) - you deserved it (4408)
On 11/27/2010 at 2:12pm - love - by ahhhboys (woman) - Romania
Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21955) - you deserved it (2492)
On 11/04/2010 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53715) - you deserved it (7015)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29785) - you deserved it (3948)
On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26762) - you deserved it (2351)
On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (4720)
On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4839) - you deserved it (7807)
On 02/09/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20717) - you deserved it (10412)
On 12/26/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by blahppl14 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my daughter thought that my new and expensive cologne smelled funny. She then decided to empty its contents down the toilet and refill the bottle with "nice-smelling things". I now smell like a mixture of chicken soup, my wife's perfume, tomato sauce and orange juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22912) - you deserved it (3050)
On 12/26/2009 at 11:34am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5698) - you deserved it (64422)
On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5400) - you deserved it (36231)
On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5064) - you deserved it (29756)
On 12/23/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6301) - you deserved it (35128)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4595) - you deserved it (27480)
On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5477) - you deserved it (24753)
On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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