Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Lennes : My name is, as far as you know, Lennes.
I enjoy video games, reading, writing, drawing, and, as of recently, acting. And dark shows. And dark movies. And dark books. And... You know, I just like there to be a little darkness. Not total darkness; more like a lit room with a slightly shadowed corner. A twinge of tragedy and hopelessness acts as a beautiful foil to the light, bringing out its glory to a fuller extent. Like putting salt on a watermelon. God that's good.
I also have a rather bad habit of watching anime far to much, and I find myself disappointed in the fact that it is typically abhorred. I find it narrow minded and obtuse. The abhorring, that is. God that's a great word. Abhor. It just rolls off the tongue. Like melancholy. Ah, another magnificent word.
I generally consider myself a terrible person due to my cynicism and misanthropy in my moments of seriousness. However, I hope to one day make up for this.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML
Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML
Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML
Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
Today, I went to college, where I'm studying for my dream job. Despite getting up at 5am to catch the earliest bus into town, I arrived ten minutes late. My professor knows my circumstances, but is still threatening to kick me off the course if I don't "arrive on time like everyone else." FML
Today, I took my driver's test. The woman administering it wouldn't even look at me, so trying to be friendly I said the first thing I could think of: "It must be scary getting in the car with someone you don't know!" She failed me for "excessive chatting." FML
Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML
Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML
Friday 17 October 2014