About Lennes : My name is, as far as you know, Lennes.
I enjoy video games, reading, writing, drawing, and, as of recently, acting. And dark shows. And dark movies. And dark books. And... You know, I just like there to be a little darkness. Not total darkness; more like a lit room with a slightly shadowed corner. A twinge of tragedy and hopelessness acts as a beautiful foil to the light, bringing out its glory to a fuller extent. Like putting salt on a watermelon. God that's good.
I also have a rather bad habit of watching anime far to much, and I find myself disappointed in the fact that it is typically abhorred. I find it narrow minded and obtuse. The abhorring, that is. God that's a great word. Abhor. It just rolls off the tongue. Like melancholy. Ah, another magnificent word.
I generally consider myself a terrible person due to my cynicism and misanthropy in my moments of seriousness. However, I hope to one day make up for this.
About Lennes : My name is, as far as you know, Lennes.
Lennes's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Lennes's favorite FMLs
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML
by fucking teen cunts / 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
by go snope yourself / 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
by FUCK THE PIGS / 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML
by Sarah / 01/26/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
by LagSwitchFTW / 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Health
by swollenpenis / 01/25/2013 at 1:11am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML
by oh ffs / 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML
by frozensolid / 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML
by notsuperstitious / 01/24/2013 at 11:37am / Finland / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML
by birthday_loser / 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm / United States / Love
- Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her,… Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight… Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I…