Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lennes

Search for a member

Lennes

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10363
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Lennes : My name is, as far as you know, Lennes.
I enjoy video games, reading, writing, drawing, and, as of recently, acting. And dark shows. And dark movies. And dark books. And... You know, I just like there to be a little darkness. Not total darkness; more like a lit room with a slightly shadowed corner. A twinge of tragedy and hopelessness acts as a beautiful foil to the light, bringing out its glory to a fuller extent. Like putting salt on a watermelon. God that's good.
I also have a rather bad habit of watching anime far to much, and I find myself disappointed in the fact that it is typically abhorred. I find it narrow minded and obtuse. The abhorring, that is. God that's a great word. Abhor. It just rolls off the tongue. Like melancholy. Ah, another magnificent word.
I generally consider myself a terrible person due to my cynicism and misanthropy in my moments of seriousness. However, I hope to one day make up for this.

Lennes's page activity

Visits<b>alice_18</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 1:27am<b>misteygirl</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:10pm<b>claudia19801811</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:26am<b>Qiuakii</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:44am<b>SnapTail6</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:56am<b>RagingWill</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 4:24pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:03pm<b>cumberbunny</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 3:49am<b>fluffy_dog</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:50pm<b>zack30497</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:34pm<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:05pm<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 3:54am<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:55am<b>loopyloop64</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 5:06pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:19am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:59pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:43am

Lennes's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Lennes's badges

Lennes's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49688) - you deserved it (13514)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

#20668938
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40921) - you deserved it (5093)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45861) - you deserved it (2919)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56351) - you deserved it (4768)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50927) - you deserved it (5369)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35519) - you deserved it (16131)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20446) - you deserved it (36674)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

#20666447
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66074) - you deserved it (3634)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40435) - you deserved it (2982)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53006) - you deserved it (10404)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50178) - you deserved it (3961)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52689) - you deserved it (3223)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41938) - you deserved it (4683)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

#20662901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33939) - you deserved it (18416)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98345) - you deserved it (5968)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: