LemonandLime

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LemonandLime

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1676
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

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LemonandLime's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:01am<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 1:14am<b>Xhase</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:58am<b>jill97</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Peyton_J_W</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:59pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:13pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 4:01pm<b>Soleia_Grace</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 11:12am<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:25am<b>aruden</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 6:11pm<b>sarmo1995</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:50am<b>colinlb</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Star928</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:07am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 7:36pm<b>Dawnstempest</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 6:08pm<b>piosc</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 6:30pm<b>feven52</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 4:07pm<b>BeautifulEvil</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 9:56am

Fucked!<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 7:14am<b>RainCl0ud</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 11:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:37pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:13pm

LemonandLime's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of LemonandLime's badges

LemonandLime's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

by anyonmus / 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML

by Juliet / 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

by no tea parties here, gran / 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 7:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 7:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

by Gem / 04/05/2013 at 7:04am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

by Raiden / 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Barnsley) / Love

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

by itsnotyouitsher / 03/09/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 1:06am / United States / Work

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

by Maxie / 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

by no sir I have not / 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Work

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

by it's shitty, yeah, stfu / 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2013 at 12:36pm / United States / Health