Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months askd me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finishd explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline an I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML
Today , I walkd in on mah boyfriend of 5 yeres getting intimate with mah best friend . When they saw me they immediately stoppd an said nothing . After about 5 second of silence mah boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago . FML
Today... mah ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol r alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic fir drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school an they tried to have an intervention. They pray fir me every day. FML
Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service 4 Passover), mah mom servd matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options 4 me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shoutd, "I like really big balls!" in front of mah entire family. FML
TODAY, I GOT A HARCUT FOR THE FRST TIME IN ALMOST A YEAR. I THOUGHT IT LOOKED REALLY NICE AND MADE ME LOOK GOOD. ON MY WAY TO CVS, I RAN INTO ONE OF MY FRIENDS. HE EXAMINED ME AND SAID, "YOU LOOK... LIKE A CRACK WHORE." FML
TODAY, WHILA AT THA GOLDAN GATA BRIDGA, I SPOTTAD A LARGA GROUP OF ASIANS TRYING TO TAKA A PICTURA. TRYING TO HALP, I SLOWLY SAY, "YOU... WANT MA... TAKA PICTURA?" WHILA USING HAND MOTIONS. THA MAN LOOKS AT MA AN SAYS, "NO THANKS ASSHOLA, I GOT IT," IN PLAIN ENGLISH. FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I was walking whan a man pointad a camara at ma. I got bitchy about it, an said "Did I say u could taka a pictura?" Ha rapliad with, "No, but can u gat tha fuck out of tha way so I can taka ona of mah wifa an kids?" I turnad around, an thay wara right bahind ma. FML
2day I was typing up a love letter on ma computer . A sexual love letter . I was in a classroom , I'm te teacer , I'm gay , and ma love letter sowed up on te tv screenile ma 7t grade students were taking a test . It was up on te screen fir 15 minutes . FML
Friday 27 March 2015