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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Lbooks93

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Lbooks93
  • Town/Country : Fishers, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 November 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 98797
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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Lbooks93's favorite FMLs

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (46823) - you deserved it (3401)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

#3302714 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (72536) - you deserved it (4175)

On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

#3271305 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (51590) - you deserved it (7014)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Victim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (3515)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got on my flight for my brother's graduation in Portland, Maine. Unable to find my mom in the airport, a stranger overheard my dilemma and informed me I was in Portland, Oregon. FML

#2934451 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (16630)

On 06/16/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Rayyy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

#2202679 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (30272) - you deserved it (23720)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a long night of cramming for an extensive Anatomy final (detailed diagrams included), I check the senior final schedule to find that Anatomy is not till tomorrow, but I take Calculus in 10 minutes. This is followed by an e-mail from my teacher saying I can exempt Anatomy. FML

#2108783 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (40100) - you deserved it (10962)

On 05/20/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by spilum_endalaust (woman) - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981 (283)

I agree, your life sucks (13619) - you deserved it (66139)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML

#2069131 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (14255) - you deserved it (35358)

On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my sister in law walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (97731)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

#1881658 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (8096) - you deserved it (40432)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

#1842179 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (50226) - you deserved it (1989)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

#1833844 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (10755) - you deserved it (34498)

On 05/11/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by lostintellct (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

#1686217 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (7187) - you deserved it (69231)

On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the fire department chief stopped me as I was walking home from school and asked me where the fire was. When I looked at him blankly, he said I had been waving my hands around like an idiot. I then had to explain that I had been dancing to a song on my ipod. FML

#1442621 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (11662) - you deserved it (33693)

On 04/28/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Moe (woman) - Canada (Quebec)