About Lazy_Genius_77 : I'm awesome.
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Lazy_Genius_77's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
by Tyler / 08/25/2013 at 12:30am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
by that's methed up, darling / 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals
Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids
by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays
by mynameisnotdrew / 02/17/2009 at 12:19pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
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- Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced… Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge… Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My…