Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LazyBastardGuy

Search for a member

LazyBastardGuy

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14379
  • Number of comments : 699
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LazyBastardGuy : Just for a badge lol

LazyBastardGuy's page activity

Visits<b>shabadabba</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:42pm<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:40am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 9:29pm<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:12pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:01pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:53pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 9:27pm<b>Rammer3500</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 4:20pm<b>constipation</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:21pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:31am<b>MissEris</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:55am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 9:06pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:59am<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 10:34pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:55am<b>mae_maddyyy</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:49pm

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:29am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:30am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 12:53am<b>IVXX_</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 7:09am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:32am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:22pm

LazyBastardGuy's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of LazyBastardGuy's badges

LazyBastardGuy's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33489) - you deserved it (3252)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38117) - you deserved it (4344)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42960) - you deserved it (4987)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (2874)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

#21317146
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17612) - you deserved it (27351)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33358) - you deserved it (3236)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30179) - you deserved it (7532)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30452) - you deserved it (3781)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

#21314569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35624) - you deserved it (3814)

On 12/09/2014 at 5:39pm - kids - by SickMaMa - United States (New York)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (6533)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: