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LazyBastardGuy

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LazyBastardGuy
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 3230
  • Number of comments : 542
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LazyBastardGuy : Just for a badge lol

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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LazyBastardGuy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49899) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40811) - you deserved it (6796)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48384) - you deserved it (3399)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42693) - you deserved it (3248)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

#20909114
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42997) - you deserved it (5778)

On 10/06/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43592) - you deserved it (5177)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

#20908021
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (35177)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19744) - you deserved it (45012)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (72212)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35232) - you deserved it (2772)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

#20904281
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (4766)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by fed up/turned off - United States (California)

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38418) - you deserved it (4639)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37871) - you deserved it (9365)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39242) - you deserved it (6090)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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