LazyBastardGuy

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LazyBastardGuy

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15789
  • Number of comments : 699
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LazyBastardGuy : Just for a badge lol

LazyBastardGuy's page activity

Visits<b>blev96</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:43am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 3:54pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 12:11pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:52pm<b>bbenedict</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 7:23pm<b>nikkibodnarchuk</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 12:27am<b>shabadabba</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:42pm<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:40am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 9:29pm<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:12pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:01pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:53pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 9:27pm<b>Rammer3500</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 4:20pm<b>constipation</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:21pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:31am<b>MissEris</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:55am

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:29am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:30am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 12:53am<b>IVXX_</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 7:09am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:32am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:22pm

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LazyBastardGuy's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

by Good Parenting? / 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

by Arcanin3Boss / 06/23/2015 at 2:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

by Angel / 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I ruined a $1,500 laptop with a 69¢ bowl of ramen noodles. FML

by fuckstudentloans / 06/18/2015 at 7:29pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

by HURP / 06/17/2015 at 11:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

by sad and hungry / 06/06/2015 at 10:37am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

by nerderer / 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. FML

by not a kiddy fiddler really / 05/29/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

by Anon / 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

by BannedfromFriend / 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous