Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LazyBastardGuy

Search for a member

LazyBastardGuy

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9830
  • Number of comments : 647
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LazyBastardGuy : Just for a badge lol

LazyBastardGuy's page activity

Visits<b>Effulgence</b> - 15 hours ago<b>LADY_EXO</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:22pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:18pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:31am<b>seetei</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:24am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:29pm<b>3051628</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 8:28pm<b>RainEliseWolf</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 8:42am<b>whyisitincapital</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:12am<b>Star1398</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:13pm<b>23lf</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:10am<b>SEROKE</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 6:57pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 3:46am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 4:13am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:17pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:50pm

Liked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:22pm

LazyBastardGuy's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of LazyBastardGuy's badges

LazyBastardGuy's favorite FMLs

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (3756)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

#19876638
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22081) - you deserved it (4197)

On 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm - love - by Jacqueline (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25031) - you deserved it (5366)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20844) - you deserved it (2939)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML

#19737959
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25887) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

#19645294
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (4052)

On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

#19635267
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20285) - you deserved it (5186)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (6319)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (6319)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (6319)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: