Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LazyBastardGuy

Search for a member

LazyBastardGuy

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12810
  • Number of comments : 647
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LazyBastardGuy : Just for a badge lol

LazyBastardGuy's page activity

Visits<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - yesterday at 12:55am<b>mae_maddyyy</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:49pm<b>SecretAgent_700</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:22pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:33am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:39pm<b>annalily5</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 11:12pm<b>_Backoff4me_</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:34am<b>IVXX_</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:09am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:47pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:47pm<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 4:45am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:17am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:40pm<b>dreamful_artist</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:27am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:32pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 12:24pm<b>LADY_EXO</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:22pm

Fucked!<b>IVXX_</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 7:09am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:32am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:22pm

LazyBastardGuy's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of LazyBastardGuy's badges

LazyBastardGuy's favorite FMLs

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40699) - you deserved it (11896)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47170) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

#20964266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39911) - you deserved it (3004)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43426) - you deserved it (4666)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39333) - you deserved it (11233)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49989) - you deserved it (13154)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42484) - you deserved it (4988)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45150) - you deserved it (3678)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39723) - you deserved it (2938)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36731) - you deserved it (4055)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47208) - you deserved it (7209)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39798) - you deserved it (5163)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43802) - you deserved it (3994)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after hours of organizing and spending around $300 for my three-year-old's birthday party, I realized I forgot to send out the invitations. FML

#20951338
161 comments


FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: