LazyBastardGuy

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LazyBastardGuy

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16586
  • Number of comments : 699
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LazyBastardGuy : Just for a badge lol

LazyBastardGuy's page activity

Visits<b>blev96</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:43am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 3:54pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 12:11pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:52pm<b>bbenedict</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 7:23pm<b>nikkibodnarchuk</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 12:27am<b>shabadabba</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:42pm<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:40am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 9:29pm<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:12pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:01pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:53pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 9:27pm<b>Rammer3500</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 4:20pm<b>constipation</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:21pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:31am<b>MissEris</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:55am

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:29am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:30am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 12:53am<b>IVXX_</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 7:09am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:32am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:22pm

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LazyBastardGuy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called. He said he would sing me a song, like I'd wanted for a long time. I was excited, but surprised at his song choice. He sang 'Locked Away' by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Turns out, he was calling me from jail. He thought this was romantic, and expected me to bail him out. FML

by ishred1111 / 11/06/2015 at 2:39am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said "But seriously... no." FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2015 at 3:19am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML

by Peter Steele love / 10/17/2015 at 8:49pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy

Today, I'm no longer allowed to work the drive-thru at my job, because over the weekend, 3 dumbasses I go to school with came in and complained to my manager, saying I sounded a creepy pervert and that it scared them enough to take their business elsewhere. FML

by why / 10/11/2015 at 10:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I realized that my two year old likes to help with the groceries. And by help I mean hide a bag of chicken. It's been two weeks since I went grocery shopping and I still can't find it, but it smells like something died in my house. FML

by KillingMeSlowly / 10/10/2015 at 11:37pm / Kids

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

by T-Bear / 10/07/2015 at 11:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2015 at 8:16am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

by oops / 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting in the McDonald's drive-thru and listening to some music. I was tapping my non-driving foot to the song when I accidentally tapped the wrong foot and rear ended the cop car in front of me. Whoops. FML

by stardustveins / 09/23/2015 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

by KindaLooksLikeCocaine / 09/23/2015 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend cooked us a romantic dinner using the oven. The oven he recently hid $3,000 in for safekeeping. We essentially just spent thousands of dollars on a casserole. FML

by Lucachoo / 09/21/2015 at 8:35pm / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally pull the "grab bar" from the wall and clock her in the side of the head. Three stitches at the Urgent Care later, she's explaining to the entire waiting room how it happened. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2015 at 9:24am / United States / Intimacy