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About LazyBastardGuy : Just for a badge lol
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Fingerprints everywhere
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5481) - you deserved it (965)
On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5099) - you deserved it (1276)
On 05/17/2012 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13783) - you deserved it (2511)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5761) - you deserved it (771) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/18/2012 at 12:38am - misc - by Fillifilo (woman) - France
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1497) - you deserved it (5805)
Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16829) - you deserved it (4271)
On 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm - love - by Mark Allan (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4290) - you deserved it (876)
On 03/24/2012 at 5:07pm - health - by Stephen (man) - Sweden
Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2757) - you deserved it (8173)
On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7304) - you deserved it (760)
On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6108) - you deserved it (651)
On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7337) - you deserved it (678)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States
Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7235) - you deserved it (825)
On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (6390)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14744) - you deserved it (2110)
On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6989) - you deserved it (19681)
On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
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