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About Lawzen_Rainbow : lawz. 18. engaged. love life. love animals (:
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4082) - you deserved it (241)
On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3151) - you deserved it (826)
On 02/14/2012 at 7:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out a second story window is a very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (654) - you deserved it (5603)
On 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by michael (man) - United States
Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4487) - you deserved it (527)
On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4163) - you deserved it (681)
Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4463) - you deserved it (872)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4782) - you deserved it (432)
On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7203) - you deserved it (457)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1654) - you deserved it (5129)
On 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck teh poleese (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5374) - you deserved it (2431)
On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands
Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1630) - you deserved it (7046)
Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8121) - you deserved it (2016)
On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (1455)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17780) - you deserved it (2858)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5541) - you deserved it (2741)
On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)
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