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Lawlihearttigers's favorite FMLs
Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML
by AlexaSt2611 / 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm / Paraguay (Central) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
by IceCreamCraver / 08/16/2010 at 4:35pm / United States (New York) / Health
by anonymous / 08/15/2010 at 9:12am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous
by Tp / 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML
Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML
by sari14 / 02/11/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
by topfisherman / 02/05/2010 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 1:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
by has-evil-friends / 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, my boss said something that I didn't catch. I went to take a leash off a dog, (I'm a groomer's assistant) and looked at my boss and said "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML
by DamnDogs / 11/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Work
by ggbhghggg / 11/18/2009 at 6:04pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Love
by GlassJAwkidE / 10/29/2009 at 1:16am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Happyforeverx / 10/25/2009 at 11:30am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…