LaurenGhosn

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LaurenGhosn

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 292
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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LaurenGhosn's FML badges

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LaurenGhosn's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

by holyshitbatman / 09/22/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

by hannah / 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm / New Zealand (Marlborough) / Love

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 7:36am / United States (Delaware) / Health

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

by Leashaness / 09/15/2012 at 7:07am / United States / Health

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

by MexicanMe / 09/14/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

by liquidknight / 09/10/2012 at 8:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 7:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

by rotezora / 09/02/2012 at 8:44am / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Love

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

by The Horrible Older Sister / 09/02/2012 at 6:07am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

by Sarah / 08/30/2012 at 8:58am / United States (New York) / Health