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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 June 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5376
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted


LauraTheKiwi's page activity

Visits<b>dusthar</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 9:59pm<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 1:22am<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 6:41am<b>ShockBlast8879</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 8:27pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 7:23pm<b>valouette</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 4:11pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:54pm<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:00am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:01pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:58am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:09am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:05pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:56pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:55pm<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 6:39pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 8:10pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 2:23pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:33am

LauraTheKiwi's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

LauraTheKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

by facepalm / 02/27/2009 at 3:39am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

by iailwkrb / 02/26/2009 at 11:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

by niabby / 02/20/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

by Offended / 02/19/2009 at 2:09am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cig-bud out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML

by Dani_Rich / 02/16/2009 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

by hhaannnnaahh / 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

by hhaannnnaahh / 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

by JLoistheBomb / 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML

by J / 02/07/2009 at 4:16pm / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

by GavinHosler / 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous