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LauraTheKiwi

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LauraTheKiwi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 June 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3817
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LauraTheKiwi : HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAA:)

LauraTheKiwi's page activity

Visits<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:00am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:01pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:58am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:09am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:05pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:56pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:55pm<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 6:39pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 8:10pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 2:23pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:33am<b>KatieMajestic</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 4:17am<b>MickiJ</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 9:06pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:14pm<b>ayway</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 10:47pm<b>jacc16</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:46am<b>alphatoomega</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 11:02am<b>clarepetty</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm

LauraTheKiwi's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

LauraTheKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

#3705241
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8535) - you deserved it (79732)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:28am - love - by Terry (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

#3681487
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51160) - you deserved it (2261)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

#3604059
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17816) - you deserved it (56718)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

#3602440
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21956) - you deserved it (53110)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40829) - you deserved it (21562)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68268) - you deserved it (4979)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15658) - you deserved it (49967)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

#3127990
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46982) - you deserved it (10199)

On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

#3097066
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34972) - you deserved it (20065)

On 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm - kids - by loli-conned (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

#2919658
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (46419)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

#2797369
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32132) - you deserved it (52188)

On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84008) - you deserved it (20435)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65870) - you deserved it (9311)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

#2526721
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66131) - you deserved it (5990)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21009) - you deserved it (220555)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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