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LauraTheKiwi

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LauraTheKiwi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 June 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4369
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LauraTheKiwi : HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAA:)

LauraTheKiwi's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:54pm<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:00am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:01pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:58am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:09am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:05pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:56pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:55pm<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 6:39pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 8:10pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 2:23pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:33am<b>KatieMajestic</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 4:17am<b>MickiJ</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 9:06pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:14pm<b>ayway</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 10:47pm<b>jacc16</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:46am<b>alphatoomega</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 11:02am

LauraTheKiwi's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

LauraTheKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (50411)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41365) - you deserved it (3195)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16330) - you deserved it (29361)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12598) - you deserved it (35771)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32552) - you deserved it (3746)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10421) - you deserved it (48215)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out that my fifty-five year old uncle had taken my phone and texted my girlfriend saying "I'm his uncle, send tit pics." She did. FML

#6118841
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (2635)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by whatthef - United States

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

#5579275
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9602) - you deserved it (39121)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (2964)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48166) - you deserved it (4064)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

#5054885
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (5392)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by LaurahLunatic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

#4912906
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML

#4879215
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60626) - you deserved it (4557)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

#4730370
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35706) - you deserved it (11215)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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