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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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LauraTheKiwi

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LauraTheKiwi
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 June 1987 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1767
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LauraTheKiwi : HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAA:)

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Mornaicrzyrypendatik

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LauraTheKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31072) - you deserved it (10652)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (1485)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML

#8971498 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (29779) - you deserved it (2777)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by Nancy - United States

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (14139) - you deserved it (1491)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (23277) - you deserved it (1403)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (6965) - you deserved it (13105)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, an elderly lady swore at me for not holding a door open for her. The door in question was automatic. FML

#8800803 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (17492) - you deserved it (1312)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

#8796433 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (22227) - you deserved it (2114)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:09am - health - by icegirl (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (6543) - you deserved it (25420)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

#8741180 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (14922) - you deserved it (4840)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (17070) - you deserved it (1456)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

#8658617 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (11209) - you deserved it (2130)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

#8492121 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (6973) - you deserved it (17879)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by AwwChute (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML

#8490990 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (10058) - you deserved it (2201)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by lost_ina_dream (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (14768) - you deserved it (2432)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)