LastFalseApology

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Offline (the 06/14/2015 at 1:13am)

LastFalseApology

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 529
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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LastFalseApology's page activity

Visits<b>potionowl</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:38am<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:48am<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:05pm<b>kingdomgirl123</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:37am<b>mikeramos</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 5:11pm<b>juwood</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 6:37pm<b>pataplop</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 5:47pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 3:23pm<b>agentmatty007</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 7:34am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 3:58am<b>cuppycakeslove</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 3:03am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:34am<b>yadanax</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:19am<b>raisingbears</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:09am<b>1992yoko</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 1:19am<b>HeLix_NaTion</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 11:55pm<b>saenz30</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 11:49pm

LastFalseApology's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of LastFalseApology's badges

LastFalseApology's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

by fd_uplife / 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

by blinded / 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughters ballet class I got pulled over 2 houses away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 4:15pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

by Tonya / 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2009 at 4:20am / Japan / Transportation

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

by KN / 06/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me. I was really depressed so a couple of my friends came over to take me out to a club to cheer me up. My ex was there, partying with his friends. He came up to me and my friends and asked my friend if she wanted to hang out sometime. She said yes. FML

by dumpedchick / 06/24/2009 at 10:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 7:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML

by JustAGiftCardPlease / 06/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm / Japan (Okinawa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 11:51am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

by Machine / 02/19/2009 at 7:18am / Japan (Okinawa) / Health

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids