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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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Today, I stood 4 half an hour in the rain waiting 4 my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". mega FML
Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it an onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike an crash head-first. FML
yesterday I was strolling past an old women wen from beind se called "can u elp me get te rest of te groceries out of te car?" I approaced te car, an elped er un-load bags. Se began itting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". Se was actually asking er son in te car. FML
Today... I had to meet with my landlord to organisehen he was coming to look at my flat and decidehether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him... my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
today my friend an I were making sandwiches at his house . His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor . The dog snatched it up an ran away with it . I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke an die . It did . FML
Today, I was on the phone with mah little sister as she explaind that all these guys lyk her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell mah sister that at least I was a cuter child, because mah mom laughd and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy u fat kid diapers." FML
2day during some previews before te new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up an led te audience in an entusiastic an rater successful cant ( H-A-R-R-Y! ). Minutes lateren I attempted to do te same ting, I was pelted wit alf-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, an booing. FML
TODAY, I WENT INTO A RESTAURANT AND SAT AT A BAR NEAR THREE GUYSHO APPEARED TO BE 19 OR 20. THEY DID NOT ACKNOWLEDGE ME. 15 MINUTES LATER, MAH BURGER ARRIVED. THEY ALL RAN OVER TO ASK ME ABOUT IT. I HAVEN'T BEEN HIT ON IN MONTHS. MY CHEESEBURGER IS MORE ATTRACTIVE TO MEN THAN I AM. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with mah extendd family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whisperd to mah brother, "We may ned to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress cummd back to the table, mah five year old son decidd to ask aloud "What's Chew and Screw?". FML
Today, I was walking to mah mailbox and I fall down and couldn't gat up!! My naighbor walkad by with his dog, took ona look at ma struggling, said "What is wrong with kids thasa days, drunk at 9am" and continuad on!! I couldn't gat up bacausa I am still haaling from a strass fractura in mah hip!!
Today , my mum calld and told me she had bought me a new , white dish washer for my apartment cuz it doesn't have one . I was SO excitd and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could . I only had to pay her $1.25 . She bought me a sponge . FML
Friday 27 March 2015