Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LastFalseApology

Offline (the 01/22/2015 at 5:58pm) | Search for a member

LastFalseApology

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 301
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LastFalseApology's page activity

Visits<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:24pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:48am<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:05pm<b>kingdomgirl123</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:37am<b>mikeramos</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 5:11pm<b>juwood</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 6:37pm<b>pataplop</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 5:47pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 3:23pm<b>agentmatty007</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 7:34am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 3:58am<b>cuppycakeslove</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 3:03am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:34am<b>yadanax</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:19am<b>raisingbears</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:09am<b>1992yoko</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 1:19am<b>HeLix_NaTion</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 11:55pm<b>saenz30</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 11:49pm

LastFalseApology's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of LastFalseApology's badges

LastFalseApology's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (3404)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

#21338134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:49am - love - by SilverZephyr - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that when a man in the row in front of you at a movie theater tells you to shut up, you shouldn't tell him to fuck off. He might be 6'4 with a short temper. FML

#21337906
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13863) - you deserved it (44525)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:15pm - misc - by whoops.. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

#13140704
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (4705)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:44am - kids - by cganon - United Kingdom

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14210) - you deserved it (50218)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I finally got the courage to go up and ask out the girl I have loved for a couple of months now. After she said yes, I was over the moon and ran home to tell my roommate. The next day, I saw her making out with another man. When I confronted her, she said "Oh, you were serious yesterday?" FML

#4973431
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46446) - you deserved it (3812)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:52am - love - by lovesucks (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

#4972941
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38375) - you deserved it (4937)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44am - work - by spinner (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told the guy I have been sort of dating that I want to connect emotionally before sleeping with him. He told me that he already had an emotional connection with his fiancée and was only interested in sleeping with me. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

#4962487
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47814) - you deserved it (4135)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by SaMike (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

#4961787
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42157) - you deserved it (3353)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:40pm - love - by outofluckdude (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86136) - you deserved it (5147)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML

#4953539
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38019) - you deserved it (3807)

On 08/31/2009 at 2:10pm - love - by UNmarried (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

#4952305
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33084) - you deserved it (3178)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by kelkline (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML

#4952046
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8619) - you deserved it (83277)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Bee (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

#4950874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41714) - you deserved it (4389)

On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: