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LappDance

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LappDance

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 489
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About LappDance : I'm one of a kind; just like everyone else.

5FDP, Nirvana, Papa Roach, Rise Against, A7X, The Offspring

LappDance's page activity

Visits<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:45pm<b>ilovebadluck</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 12:54am<b>omggitshaley_</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:53am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 1:41am<b>WubStep_</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 10:25pm<b>harrypotter955</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:34pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 12:05am<b>slippy327</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 2:35am<b>jillytc</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 9:25am<b>BrandonHammmmmy</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 1:29pm<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 12:51am<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 12:41am<b>TheOnlyKittyKat</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 11:07pm<b>ilytyvm</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 6:44pm<b>psiloveyou15</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 10:22am<b>EveNightSky1029</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 4:23pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 4:55am

LappDance's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of LappDance's badges

LappDance's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (6081)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48876) - you deserved it (5593)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45724) - you deserved it (16869)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

#21014374
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42206) - you deserved it (4530)

On 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47514) - you deserved it (11149)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39524) - you deserved it (2979)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41197) - you deserved it (3828)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

#20892017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38546) - you deserved it (2581)

On 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54733) - you deserved it (27520)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52748) - you deserved it (3193)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56257) - you deserved it (6666)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53797) - you deserved it (3454)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68722) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47827) - you deserved it (9393)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31493) - you deserved it (3908)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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