Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member
About LappDance : I'm one of a kind; just like everyone else.
5FDP, Alice in Chains, Papa Roach, Rise Against, A7X, The Offspring
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my nieghbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
yesterday I ate some amazing homemade brownies that mah best friend's wife made fir us . She waitd till I'd shovd a third one into mah mouth before she mentiond she made them with breast milk . Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true . FML
Today.. . I finally told my father that I was pickd on at college all this year over my hearing disability . When I told him one of the jokes they made about me.. . he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter . FML
Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place fir a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper looool and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wereing a shirt with a big QR code on it . Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it . It gave me a shortened web address,hich I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up . big fat FML
Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I hered a voice behind me say, ( Wow. Immaturity, huh? ) I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Friday 27 March 2015