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Lanker

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Lanker

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 November 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 248
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Lanker : I like doggies. Nuff said.

Lanker's page activity

Visits<b>marcranger</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:56pm<b>pepsiisgross</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:16am<b>LeBandit</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:44am<b>fivetimeslonger</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:55am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:30pm<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:27pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:43pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 4:22pm<b>ktmla</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:10pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:27am<b>Agnesia</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:53pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:49pm<b>tompou6</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 7:00pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:27am<b>Falkin0113</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:16pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:35pm

Lanker's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Lanker's badges

Lanker's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (3047)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40262) - you deserved it (6114)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57403) - you deserved it (7984)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38319) - you deserved it (5659)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49601) - you deserved it (6060)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44041) - you deserved it (9459)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42346) - you deserved it (2475)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40918) - you deserved it (6079)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22128) - you deserved it (2429)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you deserved it (7412)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41438) - you deserved it (3674)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (2298)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (41577)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (4678)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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