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Offline (the 09/01/2016 at 4:12am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 November 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1405
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Lanker : I like doggies. Nuff said.

Lanker's page activity

Visits<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 9:17pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:06am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 4:39pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 4:56am<b>gabechriswill</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:46pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:07am<b>Zesty_Z</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:24am<b>KingKA14</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:36pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 2:47am<b>kunjac0945</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:52am<b>MossyMegaMan</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 4:23pm<b>Psycocharger</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:56pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 10:01am<b>mmcewen</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 9:57pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Tejanoswhy</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:48am<b>manthymonkey</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:55pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:14am

Fucked!<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:54am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:46pm<b>MossyMegaMan</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 10:23pm<b>sirnitro12</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 10:22pm<b>hashbrown97</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 10:54am<b>jadefire15</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:54am<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:20pm

Lanker's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Lanker's badges

Lanker's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

by Emma / 01/04/2016 at 10:08pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

by EternalBlossom / 07/14/2015 at 1:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

by don't get paid enough for this / 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, it's my birthday. I had asked my parents for a keyboard, and I was really excited to open the massive box they gave me. It was a computer keyboard. I've been playing piano for 11 years. FML

by THANKS / 06/19/2015 at 4:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

by mademoiselle meurtre / 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

by mszoe / 03/01/2015 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

by weirded out / 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

by cockfist / 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy