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Lanker

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Lanker

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 November 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 610
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Lanker : I like doggies. Nuff said.

Lanker's page activity

Visits<b>kjax</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:04am<b>MSCCG</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:12pm<b>arricius</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:50pm<b>dbt88</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:02am<b>HannaMD</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 4:29pm<b>fatkidfalling</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:19am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:01pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 2:42am<b>jadefire15</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:54pm<b>peacheso</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:36pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:44pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 6:36am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 10:46pm<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 6:06pm<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:20am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:03pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 9:37am<b>enddmd</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 7:37pm

Liked!<b>jadefire15</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:54am<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:20pm

Lanker's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Lanker's badges

Lanker's favorite FMLs

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (2958)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36414) - you deserved it (2425)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (10826)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35122) - you deserved it (3327)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40370) - you deserved it (6132)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58029) - you deserved it (8021)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38780) - you deserved it (5725)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51068) - you deserved it (6218)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44148) - you deserved it (9476)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43609) - you deserved it (2567)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (6256)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (2528)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30195) - you deserved it (7456)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48844) - you deserved it (3413)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42373) - you deserved it (3736)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)



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