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Lanker

Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 12:11pm) | Search for a member

Lanker

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 November 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1084
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Lanker : I like doggies. Nuff said.

Lanker's page activity

Visits<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:51am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:07am<b>Zesty_Z</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:24am<b>KingKA14</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:36pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 2:47am<b>kunjac0945</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:52am<b>MossyMegaMan</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 4:23pm<b>Psycocharger</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:56pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:49am<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 10:01am<b>mmcewen</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 9:57pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Tejanoswhy</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:48am<b>manthymonkey</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:55pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:14am<b>SlumMade</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:00pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:35pm<b>TheLonesomeGamer</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 2:39am

Fucked!<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:54am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:46pm<b>MossyMegaMan</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 10:23pm<b>sirnitro12</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 10:22pm<b>hashbrown97</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 10:54am<b>jadefire15</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:54am<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:20pm

Lanker's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Lanker's badges

Lanker's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

#21522398
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25386) - you deserved it (3628)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:40am - intimacy - by :x (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

#21511573
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18293) - you deserved it (5077)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:08pm - work - by Emma (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (2774)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

#21441357
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26760) - you deserved it (22161)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:03am - intimacy - by EternalBlossom (woman) - United States

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

#21439774
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (2062)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm - work - by don't get paid enough for this (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my birthday. I had asked my parents for a keyboard, and I was really excited to open the massive box they gave me. It was a computer keyboard. I've been playing piano for 11 years. FML

#21428456
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (4387)

On 06/19/2015 at 4:37am - misc - by THANKS - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (2675)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31497) - you deserved it (3414)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39082) - you deserved it (2630)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43688) - you deserved it (13255)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37496) - you deserved it (3577)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43924) - you deserved it (6675)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64747) - you deserved it (9212)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41219) - you deserved it (6037)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54300) - you deserved it (6531)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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