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Language_girl97

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Language_girl97
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 May 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1570
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Language_girl97's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31079) - you deserved it (3445)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7866) - you deserved it (100292)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I checked in a group of men from Mexico. I speak just enough Spanish to realize they're discussing my breasts. I have to stand there smiling while checking in three more people. FML

#5618007
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (3224)

On 10/03/2009 at 6:31am - work - by Spanishredhead (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6078) - you deserved it (51429)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML

#5462375
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36143) - you deserved it (2752)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:33am - misc - by stupidpolicia (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)

Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (7084)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45258) - you deserved it (1945)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41101) - you deserved it (3914)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (67421)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56910) - you deserved it (3249)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

#4685696
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48193) - you deserved it (33832)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (6585)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55655) - you deserved it (2157)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)



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