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Laconic01

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Laconic01
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 859
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Laconic01's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Laconic01's favorite FMLs

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57383) - you deserved it (27405)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37437) - you deserved it (4812)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39379) - you deserved it (3591)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40800) - you deserved it (2962)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

#21100140
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40866) - you deserved it (3308)

On 03/30/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by starfishedasshole (man) - United States

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45197) - you deserved it (11002)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (5193)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28779) - you deserved it (15259)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32666) - you deserved it (6509)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40230) - you deserved it (3288)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43755) - you deserved it (7879)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

#21084613
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42106) - you deserved it (2697)

On 03/12/2014 at 2:39am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36254) - you deserved it (5259)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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