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Lacist

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 11:41pm) | Search for a member

Lacist

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1072
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Lacist's page activity

Visits<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:53pm<b>enu_vastanii__</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:11am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:42pm<b>sky413</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:02pm<b>RavenBlaze</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:55am<b>christian1509</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:16am<b>SkoomaKi</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:02am<b>Tuttiefrutti</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:55pm<b>PseudoDan</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:44am<b>buster113</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:32am<b>Thebangs5</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:14pm<b>Squtchy</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:26pm<b>kost4060</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:05pm<b>countercanter</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 7:23pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:40pm<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Dawminator</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:02pm

Lacist's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Lacist's badges

Lacist's favorite FMLs

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (7360)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
189 comments

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59223) - you deserved it (5420)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

#20825465
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56089) - you deserved it (4912)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by shampoomice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54039) - you deserved it (18152)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

#20822322
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43188) - you deserved it (6123)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67165) - you deserved it (8849)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

#20818899
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55535) - you deserved it (8298)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

#20818742
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40557) - you deserved it (3770)

On 08/03/2013 at 1:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60738) - you deserved it (5966)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

#20817997
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43706) - you deserved it (7716)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50241) - you deserved it (10636)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59390) - you deserved it (8839)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46035) - you deserved it (3487)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

#20782525
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23880) - you deserved it (61250)

On 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm - misc - by scheisse (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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