Lacist

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Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 11:41pm)

Lacist

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3131
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Lacist's page activity

Visits<b>iG_08</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 1:54am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 4:19am<b>hasanain31</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 5:14pm<b>justindrew14</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:39pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 11:34pm<b>SnowxSakura</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:15am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:22am<b>niceguy123</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 3:38pm<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:50pm<b>GreyJedi</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:10am<b>pharaohasphuck</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:23am<b>reillyg11</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 11:52pm<b>FenHarel</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:37pm<b>llsuperlilyll</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:20am<b>mzrayray</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:49am<b>sleepyfires</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:04am<b>Nicolasaur726</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:43am

Fucked!<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:19am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:23pm

Lacist's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Lacist's badges

Lacist's favorite FMLs

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Kids

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

by shampoomice / 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

by traumatizedforlife / 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm / Portugal / Intimacy

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 1:59pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

by kimm1993 / 08/03/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

by YouSoSmelly / 08/02/2013 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

by GeeThanks / 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

by scheisse / 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous