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Lacist

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Lacist
  • Town/Country : Cake, New Cake
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 January 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 563
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Lacist's FML badges

Perfectionist

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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Lacist's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43333) - you deserved it (2334)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (10275)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49807) - you deserved it (6251)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

#20849456
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33250) - you deserved it (2311)

On 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by never thought I'd say that (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42221) - you deserved it (2211)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42463) - you deserved it (7013)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
188 comments

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56966) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

#20825465
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54307) - you deserved it (4727)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by shampoomice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51210) - you deserved it (16879)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

#20822322
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42099) - you deserved it (5976)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed hysterically and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62802) - you deserved it (8191)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

#20818899
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49551) - you deserved it (6506)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

#20818742
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38057) - you deserved it (3534)

On 08/03/2013 at 1:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57596) - you deserved it (5667)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)



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