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Lacalema

Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 11:23am) | Search for a member

Lacalema

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 630
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Lacalema : 42!!


If I commented, I was drunk. I'm way to shy to say anything sober.


It looks like I'm a profile stalker but really I just click to see a big version of your picture. I only use the app.

Lacalema's page activity

Visits<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:17am<b>17031990</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 2:35pm<b>MlleCerise</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:37am<b>AmericaAmurka</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:03am<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 3:43am<b>alliebug_grace</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 7:40pm<b>PrimeEvilTahir</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 6:20pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 9:30am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:49am<b>katydid91</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:10am<b>football98</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:58pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:23am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:20pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:23am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:59pm<b>DriAA7</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:50pm<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:12am<b>tangerine06</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:17am

Lacalema's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Lacalema's badges

Lacalema's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML

#19035174
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (17288)

On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that my "cash back rewards" for credit card purchases are mailed with the monthly statement. The same monthly statement that goes straight into the shredder or fireplace because I prefer to do my banking online. FML

#18996100
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6923) - you deserved it (37474)

On 02/04/2012 at 9:51pm - money - by twiggy24 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

#18529063
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (4563)

On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42314) - you deserved it (5146)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

#18467127
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27337) - you deserved it (2204)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10059) - you deserved it (183121)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34836) - you deserved it (9640)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

#17443433
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (2315)

On 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

#13648251
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9546) - you deserved it (28430)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I realised I know the map on World of Warcraft better than the map of my own country. FML

#8407366
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7963) - you deserved it (39569)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by DLS - United States (Vermont)

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

#3354281
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25762) - you deserved it (45788)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244405) - you deserved it (32233)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

#2172
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13740) - you deserved it (25579)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:14am - misc - by insearch4i - United States (Arizona)



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