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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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LaLaLaurenn

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LaLaLaurenn
  • Town/Country : usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1469
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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LaLaLaurenn's favorite FMLs

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (47616) - you deserved it (2251)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81759) - you deserved it (24058)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML

#3855655 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (45075) - you deserved it (2597)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:14pm - intimacy - by nonmormon (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while talking on the phone with my long distance boyfriend, he let me know that he was getting married in August to "some girl" for his papers. After I objected he told me, "well you can marry me if you want." I'm not sure if I just got dumped or proposed to. FML

#3804007 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (36988) - you deserved it (3710)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

#3791674 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (64065) - you deserved it (2420)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

#3713033 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (36157) - you deserved it (2601)

On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

#3199302 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (65733) - you deserved it (2326)

On 06/25/2009 at 4:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

#2799622 (1233)

I agree, your life sucks (31591) - you deserved it (473881)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

#2660481 (318)

I agree, your life sucks (46933) - you deserved it (8468)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

#2656270 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (37004) - you deserved it (8453)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML

#2429175 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (34728) - you deserved it (8910)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by peopleinthepark (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (57499) - you deserved it (9163)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma gave me a gift (something she has never done before). I was so excited until I found out it was one of her overdue library books on dolphins. I feel so loved. FML

#1620964 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (36105) - you deserved it (1773)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by hawtpinkpanties (woman) - United States (Indiana)