Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

L_Chloe

Search for a member

L_Chloe

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2353
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

L_Chloe's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

L_Chloe's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (40393)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

#4290103
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35779) - you deserved it (7142)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:25pm - health - by toadface (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

#4285765
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46016) - you deserved it (6443)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:21pm - love - by Angry (woman) - United States

Today, I got my first speeding ticket. Looking it over, I was surprised to see that the officer listed my height accurately despite never having seen me standing. I complimented his uncanny ability and asked if it was part of police training. He then informed me that he read it on my license. FML

#4264438
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6129) - you deserved it (54712)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68015) - you deserved it (3964)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14019) - you deserved it (118644)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

#4231879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11950) - you deserved it (48535)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62698) - you deserved it (6846)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49255) - you deserved it (9387)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49255) - you deserved it (9387)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

#4179768
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48302) - you deserved it (2163)

On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

#4175407
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (3331)

On 07/31/2009 at 12:01am - kids - by BadMurderer (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

#4157667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40403) - you deserved it (26215)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

#4154850
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37995) - you deserved it (3800)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

#4154850
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37995) - you deserved it (3800)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: