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LRiver

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LRiver

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  • Number of visits : 922
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LRiver's page activity

Visits<b>Helpfulman</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:31pm

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LRiver's favorite FMLs

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19645) - you deserved it (3612)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (5800)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (1722)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (5662)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

#21302690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25606) - you deserved it (2761)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:20am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

#21302617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (5026)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:32am - health - by LemonTree (man) - Hungary

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

#21302094
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (5404)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (2356)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28896) - you deserved it (3132)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34216) - you deserved it (3379)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (2178)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (2965)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (2886)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (3182)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML

#21300330
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (2030)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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