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LRiver

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LRiver

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  • Number of visits : 310
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LRiver's page activity

Visits<b>Helpfulman</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:31pm

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LRiver's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7562) - you deserved it (14026)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28524) - you deserved it (1999)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24636) - you deserved it (4984)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

#21280293
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28202) - you deserved it (1769)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

#21279849
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (2927)

On 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by katsaysner - United States (Maine)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30149) - you deserved it (2619)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (5117)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

#21279192
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29879) - you deserved it (7411)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by not saying it was whores, but... - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29860) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29446) - you deserved it (2742)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

#21278689
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32242) - you deserved it (2370)

On 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm - health - by BoobiePain - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23696) - you deserved it (47342)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32187) - you deserved it (2892)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

#21277907
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28454) - you deserved it (3068)

On 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38943) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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