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LRiver

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LRiver

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  • Number of visits : 66
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LRiver's favorite FMLs

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12310) - you deserved it (975)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, my hamster got loose from his cage. His name was Houdini. FML

#21249788
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (6171)

On 09/01/2014 at 2:55pm - animals - by Houdini - United States (Texas)

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14352) - you deserved it (25998)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33451) - you deserved it (2495)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (3175)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

#21249110
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (3739)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:27pm - kids - by TheFatOne - United States

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36289) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28644) - you deserved it (7041)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27812) - you deserved it (5059)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29287) - you deserved it (2415)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35125) - you deserved it (8152)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (2847)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

#21248283
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37805) - you deserved it (3960)

On 08/30/2014 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30993) - you deserved it (7532)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

#21247999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (3866)

On 08/29/2014 at 5:22pm - kids - by Quincy_Ethan - United States (Texas)



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