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LMFAOwned

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LMFAOwned
  • Town/Country : Cincinnati
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1235
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About LMFAOwned : Hello. You're here either because I said something provocative of exploration into the depths of my profile, or you liked my picture. Most likely the latter. Just kidding. As you can see, I like jokes. And YOUR MOM.Just kidding. Oh, there I go again.. You best run along before I try to make another joke. Oops, you stayed and you're still reading... "Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? Because he was charged with battery!" Ha! Giggity.

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LMFAOwned's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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LMFAOwned's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31282) - you deserved it (6288)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46040) - you deserved it (5561)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML

#20467580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (2902)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61126) - you deserved it (5803)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML

#12368277
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you deserved it (6241)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:01am - love - by Single (woman) - France (Bretagne)

Today, upon getting out of the shower, I discovered the towel I grabbed off the rack had dried poop on it. Apparently, during my sister's birthday party yesterday, we'd run out of toilet paper. FML

#12288946
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (3523)

On 08/03/2010 at 2:13pm - misc - by missalexa - United States (California)

Today, my husband told me "The only reason I stay with you is because it's cheaper than paying child support." FML

#12203978
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32675) - you deserved it (4744)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:34am - love - by Tree (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10612) - you deserved it (105571)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16355) - you deserved it (66346)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

#12077771
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26180) - you deserved it (5578)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by luvlessbootycall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30118) - you deserved it (13576)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (46063)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

#11831310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9693) - you deserved it (51583)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (man) - United States (Illinois)



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