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About LMFAOwned : Hello. You're here either because I said something provocative of exploration into the depths of my profile, or you liked my picture. Most likely the latter. Just kidding. As you can see, I like jokes. And YOUR MOM.Just kidding. Oh, there I go again.. You best run along before I try to make another joke. Oops, you stayed and you're still reading... "Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? Because he was charged with battery!" Ha! Giggity.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Friday 22 May 2015