LLsuperfly

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LLsuperfly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 48143
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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LLsuperfly's page activity

Visits<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:29pm<b>jackpray99</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:48pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:23pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:15pm<b>Kyuzomi</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 1:52pm<b>toomuchmichelle</b> - the 12/08/2011 at 5:50am<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 10:21pm<b>stung_09</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 1:01pm<b>Envy3</b> - the 06/06/2009 at 2:23am<b>bigmad50</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 9:42pm<b>Jdubbs80</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 10:55pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 2:12pm<b>skinywiteboy805</b> - the 04/18/2009 at 12:47am<b>AshenSkies</b> - the 04/17/2009 at 4:39pm<b>irishfever</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 10:15pm<b>KelCee_E</b> - the 04/10/2009 at 12:52pm<b>xXcoolkidXx</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 6:25am<b>ambisaurus</b> - the 04/07/2009 at 2:33am

LLsuperfly's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

LLsuperfly's favorite FMLs

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Kids

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

by poo_shoe123 / 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

by lizzardbreath / 03/31/2009 at 6:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

by WeezysBaby / 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML

by Jim / 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids