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LJL100698

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LJL100698

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  • Number of visits : 208
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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LJL100698's favorite FMLs

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54345) - you deserved it (12187)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

#20823799
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46852) - you deserved it (6088)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by stillembarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46871) - you deserved it (7777)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59268) - you deserved it (20926)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60721) - you deserved it (13788)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47547) - you deserved it (4139)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50679) - you deserved it (19559)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50099) - you deserved it (3859)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49149) - you deserved it (4642)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41281) - you deserved it (6225)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

#20574528
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39974) - you deserved it (4415)

On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40921) - you deserved it (5308)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26455) - you deserved it (4179)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (12303)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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