LEGATE_LANIUS

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LEGATE_LANIUS

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LEGATE_LANIUSLEGATE_LANIUS
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 March 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 526
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About LEGATE_LANIUS : I'm the monster of the east, killing people like a beast

LEGATE_LANIUS's page activity

Visits<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:29am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:49am<b>leigh_xx</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:28am<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 7:12pm<b>emlizcat</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:46pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:58pm<b>Sudoc</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:45pm<b>ItalianRaz13</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:26pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:43pm<b>sam882</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 10:05pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 5:48pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:56pm<b>_Tater_Tot_</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:58am<b>LilyLi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 7:46pm<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:46pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:43am<b>Metashock</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:24am<b>kingdomgirl123</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:49pm

Fucked!<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:29am<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:56pm<b>russfml</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:09am<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:34am<b>davie94</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:45am<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:00am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:20pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:46pm

LEGATE_LANIUS's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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LEGATE_LANIUS's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML

by Alien / 12/29/2015 at 6:07am / Switzerland / Love

Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, my dad called to wish me a happy birthday. I said thank you but informed him that my birthday is tomorrow. He told me that I was wrong and screamed at me for 20 minutes. When I still wouldn't agree with him, he hung up and turned my phone service off. FML

by InterestingMuch / 08/18/2015 at 10:48am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at work, I mustered up the courage to talk to a cute girl. I asked her name, to which I replied with mine and that it was nice to meet her. She followed up with a dirty look and the fact she hates anyone with my name. FML

Today, I sneezed and ended up in the emergency room. How? Apparently the sneeze dislodged a kidney stone that is now slowly, painfully working its way from my kidney to my bladder so that I can piss it out. FML

by work_while_bent / 06/02/2015 at 1:21pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

by teecrafter2038 / 03/12/2015 at 10:07am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

by dealtit / 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML