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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 317
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About LEGATE_LANIUS : I'm the monster of the east, killing people like a beast

LEGATE_LANIUS's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:43pm<b>sam882</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 10:05pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 5:48pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:56pm<b>_Tater_Tot_</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:58am<b>LilyLi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 7:46pm<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:46pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:43am<b>Metashock</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:24am<b>kingdomgirl123</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:49pm<b>russfml</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:09am<b>gg215</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:04pm<b>davie94</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:03pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:22am<b>MattBenid</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:01am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:49am<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:00am

Fucked!<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:56pm<b>russfml</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:09am<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:34am<b>davie94</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:45am<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:00am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:20pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:46pm


Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of LEGATE_LANIUS's badges


Today, my dad called to wish me a happy birthday. I said thank you but informed him that my birthday is tomorrow. He told me that I was wrong and screamed at me for 20 minutes. When I still wouldn't agree with him, he hung up and turned my phone service off. FML

Today, I sneezed and ended up in the emergency room. How? Apparently the sneeze dislodged a kidney stone that is now slowly, painfully working its way from my kidney to my bladder so that I can piss it out. FML

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML


I agree, your life sucks (37025) - you deserved it (6535)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument while driving home from visiting family. We pulled into a gas station, and I went inside to grab a drink and cool down. When I came back out, both car and boyfriend were nowhere in sight. It was my car. FML

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56003) - you deserved it (6283)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31950) - you deserved it (5173)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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