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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54498) - you deserved it (14226)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (37023) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (2071)
On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (2071)
On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31988) - you deserved it (3181)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14931) - you deserved it (2443)
On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States
Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18276) - you deserved it (4143)
On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17200) - you deserved it (5692)
On 09/10/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21176) - you deserved it (1907)
On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10053) - you deserved it (29161)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26482) - you deserved it (7177)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (3163)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13727) - you deserved it (17604)
On 04/22/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by stoggie96 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15157) - you deserved it (14381)
Monday 20 May 2013
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