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Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed asking,"are those your feet?" I had forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13789) - you deserved it (32351)
On 05/26/2009 at 2:10am - love - by Socklessandsmelly (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27231) - you deserved it (1679)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by ballerphilip23 (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (15555)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52702) - you deserved it (3416)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57659) - you deserved it (6627)
On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73036) - you deserved it (5332)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by IfuSeekAmyIdo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (188572) - you deserved it (21064)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53968) - you deserved it (5233)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
I agree, your life sucks (73602) - you deserved it (4393)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37219) - you deserved it (5485)
On 02/17/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by ouchmynose (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (4072)
On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9387) - you deserved it (22919)
On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4020) - you deserved it (22367)
On 12/12/2008 at 7:08am - animals - by Slaanesh - Sent from mobile version
Today, my grandmother told me she backed over a cat while at the dinner table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22036) - you deserved it (2866)
On 10/26/2008 at 5:20pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Alabama)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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