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KylieMangion's favorite FMLs
by fiftyno / 10/01/2012 at 11:02am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
by N/A / 09/25/2012 at 12:13am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
by foreveralone / 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML
by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML
by Pissed / 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by The Drew / 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm / United States / Money
by dateless / 09/21/2012 at 7:48am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by scarred for life / 09/21/2012 at 6:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…