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KylieMangion's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
by hakuna matata / 10/31/2012 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love
by le_evan / 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by StormSeason / 10/29/2012 at 8:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML
by tcm123 / 10/29/2012 at 12:31am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
by becca / 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm / United States / Love
by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML
by Alice / 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom / Love
by BobsBabe2 / 10/24/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Kids
by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…