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Kyle_ash

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Kyle_ash

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3832
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Kyle_ash : I laugh at other people's FMLs

Kyle_ash's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:23pm<b>mlb92</b> - the 04/07/2010 at 2:09am

Kyle_ash's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kyle_ash's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32233) - you deserved it (3575)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (4586)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML

#9096813
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (2264)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:35am - love - by el211 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19568) - you deserved it (7917)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28790) - you deserved it (6501)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

#8965755
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32132) - you deserved it (2345)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (3141)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (32591)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22850) - you deserved it (2410)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

#8837679
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (5404)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5921) - you deserved it (20902)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7721) - you deserved it (24576)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19181) - you deserved it (2916)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (2776)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27216) - you deserved it (3536)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)



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