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Kyle0228

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Kyle0228
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 119
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Kyle0228's favorite FMLs

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50253) - you deserved it (11510)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24896) - you deserved it (2039)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10291) - you deserved it (34855)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

#19345098
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13453) - you deserved it (23879)

On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20555) - you deserved it (2398)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20778) - you deserved it (7741)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

#17338822
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20435) - you deserved it (2160)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:43am - work - by Username - Australia

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11202) - you deserved it (64188)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66662) - you deserved it (6941)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9184) - you deserved it (19861)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (54072)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6346) - you deserved it (50119)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

#2406787
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17868) - you deserved it (41512)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

#1751733
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46813) - you deserved it (9534)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by gangstalicious - United States (North Carolina)



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