About Kurochrome : I like pancakes.
And Homestuck, but that's not really relevant.
About Kurochrome : I like pancakes.
Kurochrome's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I NEED to know!
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Kurochrome's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anon / 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
by ABBenzin / 02/01/2012 at 11:11am / United States / Work
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals
Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML
by No Action Fighter / 08/22/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by vishuzzbabe77 / 08/22/2011 at 2:04am / United States / Animals
by Sally / 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
- Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door,… Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my… Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a…