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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Kureyna

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Kureyna
  • Town/Country : deer park, united states of america
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 July 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 520
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kureyna's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (11512) - you deserved it (1307)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

#6122066 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (4697) - you deserved it (17234)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by konichiwa (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML

#6108468 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (4687) - you deserved it (31212)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by terry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

#6050280 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (7052) - you deserved it (26892)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:15am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

#6049453 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (28911) - you deserved it (1840)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

#6040415 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (4742) - you deserved it (19406)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by Moody (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (5206)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at AT&T getting my phone fixed. At one point, the salesman said 'you should see this'. It was a text message from some girl apologizing for sleeping with my boyfriend for the past four months, and telling me that they were moving him out of our apartment. FML

#5998375 (39)

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (1073)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:00pm - love - by LTJFP (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

#5993337 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (33578) - you deserved it (2398)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm - love - by Kin (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up (after a night of drinking) in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

#5655970 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (8512) - you deserved it (26679)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

#5589145 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (35608) - you deserved it (2329)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it across a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbucks to help him, leaving my things behind. When I got back to my table feeling good, I found that my coffee had disappeared. So had my wallet. FML

#3971332 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (26514) - you deserved it (16364)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

#3911063 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (3699) - you deserved it (45619)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:39pm - misc - by loser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

#3028643 (398)

I agree, your life sucks (44093) - you deserved it (9263)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)