About KristaleFaith : If you want to know me, message me.
KristaleFaith's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
KristaleFaith's favorite FMLs
Today, I needed the toilet in the night. Walking through my pitch black house barefoot, I felt something squish beneath my heel. Thinking it was a morsel of previously dropped food, I turned on the light to clean it up. My eyes met a twitching gecko body, with a flattened, exploded head. FML
by Kakapo4Ever / 05/20/2016 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Animals
by Agamar / 02/23/2016 at 12:00am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
by meunluckycharms / 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by ShroomSalad / 08/17/2015 at 6:11pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
by stressedmom36 / 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML
by tycrist8 / 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by hairstylistprobs / 06/22/2015 at 11:13pm / United States / Love
Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML
by notgay / 06/21/2015 at 2:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML
by WasNotAdopted / 04/28/2015 at 9:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Crazy cat lady / 04/10/2015 at 11:20am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/20/2014 at 11:28am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML
Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML
by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek
- Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend… Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was… Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis…