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Kraft92

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Kraft92
  • Town/Country : Coast City, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 May 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2658
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kraft92 : I enjoy the little things in life. I believe in living every day with a smile. I enjoy working and being productive, if I'm not, then the day just seems wasted.

I'm an American Soldier.

MOS- Radio and Communications Security Repairer.
Rank - E3

Kraft92's last visitors

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Kraft92's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19454) - you deserved it (2454)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16852) - you deserved it (2516)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (10142)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

#19508765
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18092) - you deserved it (3530)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11629) - you deserved it (51470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend started arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I egged the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She ended up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all for a lousy $20. FML

#19462758
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4312) - you deserved it (36101)

On 04/13/2012 at 7:14pm - love - by c*nt (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11934) - you deserved it (30220)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

#19415450
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9602) - you deserved it (23118)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by feminismlol (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

#19347272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24348) - you deserved it (1923)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He only did so after I'd vacuumed the whole house to compensate for his cat allergies. I thought he was just coming to dinner. FML

#19325462
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18303) - you deserved it (1902)

On 03/22/2012 at 8:06am - love - by Ima in Hungary (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

#19293658
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15363) - you deserved it (2724)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

#19293658
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15363) - you deserved it (2724)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (10455)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (2184)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19508) - you deserved it (3014)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)



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